I guess I have been awfully busy recently, that’s why I haven’t written a word here. My life is really running all the time, trying to chase something I don’t know what and I have very little time and opportunity to spend my attention on blogging or stuff.
Anyway, today I have first in my life noticed my addiction to the web. I know it may sound funny, but still it is so. It happened in a very simple way: I have spent a day without the internet. There was a blackout in my town and after that the web went down…
First of all I couldn’t imagine there was so much silence in my apartment. I have got used to listening to the music and watching movies online, that’s why I suddenly felt very lonely with the lack of sound in here.
Then I understood that automatically my hand wants to refresh my Facebook page every two minutes. Poor habit, agree. But my hand was upset even more than me!
Then in a while I tried to cheer up and do something helpful about the house when suddenly I understood I didn’t know what to do and what to start with.
Maybe I should have been read a book. And I tried to do it. But you know what? I couldn’t fight with the desire to run up to the PC in order to check if the internet supply is up again. So, reading was not a success too…
I was also to work on my project. For the whole day. I needed it, because the deadline is close. And I could try to work without the web with the data and papers I had at home. But this idea failed too. Just because I have got used to Googling practically every word and notion I meet. Even my work is a hostage of the web, together with me. These thoughts can really be frightening for a girl staying in the silent flat with no internet in it!
Half a day I was just wandering around my room, drinking tea and looking out of the window to find at least something interesting in the neighborhood.
I haven’t felt so poor and miserable since I was a schoolgirl whom everybody was bullying all the time. And still those feelings were not so unpleasant as those that I got with the full opportunity for thinking all day long.
So, now when the sounds are back and I can have fun with my chat friends in the social nets I still can’t get rid of the thought that I’m an addict. Despite the fact that I’m a non smoker and I hate alcohol and love sports I’m still an addict.
Does this happen because people need some kind of addiction, obsession or folly? Or is this because we are all weak and can’t fight the seducing elements of life? I don’t know.
But I know for sure that I don’t want to spend the whole day without the internet. No, not the right words. I just CAN’T do it…
Sheer Flames 