I can’t forgive my friend

My story as old as time. Probably you have had the same experience and would be able to help me somehow. The point is that I can’t forgive my friend. Okay, it happened over 5 years ago. I introduced my friend John to my close friends. Everything was just okay. I wanted John to befriend with my friends. But sometime later I have noticed that John sort of replaced me. He started to hang out with my close friends without me. Could you imagine it? And when I told him that I wasn’t okay with it he just laughed at my words and was kind of surprised. Well, it drove me crazy and frankly speaking it still drives me crazy. It offended me so much.

But the situation grew worse. The point is that I liked my friend Jessica at the time. And of course I introduced John to Jessica. We were very close with Jessica. I had not been dating her but I was sure that she reciprocated my feelings. Then I found out that John liked her too. It became obvious that Jessica was attracted to him. I could do nothing at the moment. I hated him. He replaced me. Without me he could hardly meet these people. And he wasn’t thankful.

Nowadays everything seems to be okay. But frankly speaking I didn’t forgive him. The worst part of the story is that he pretends he doesn’t understand me. I tried to explain him several times what’s wrong but he acted like a dude. Of course we still communicate with each other but I became distrustful. I told about it to some of my friends. In fact all of them adore John. He is funny and really interesting guy. What about me and my feelings? I was betrayed or I tend to exaggerate?

I do not communicate with Jessica right now. We are just different people. I have met wonderful girl I fall in love with. So I do not regret I lost Jessica. Sometimes I miss her as a friend. Frankly speaking we had wonderful moments spending time together. But my life today is absolutely different.

I wish I had never introduced John to my friends. Probably everything would be much better. Everything would not be that difficult. We keep in touch and spend time all together. John is usually in the limelight. Everybody admires his talents, his sense of humor. I’m a bit over-sensitive person. I want to get rid of these feelings and offense. Sometimes it seems to me that I just pretend I’m okay with it. But I’m not.

They say that forgiveness is impossible. And I tend to think that it is true. What would you do? I think that John doesn’t care much about my feelings. He is okay. Even though he is not dating with Jessica they became very good friends. I simply do not understand what’s wrong with me? I wanted to change the situation for the better but I do not know what really I should do.

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